Post by Derek Cosmos on Nov 24, 2014 9:33:13 GMT -5
When you’re as handsome as I am, even with this beautiful black eye I’m now sporting, you’re going to have a bevy of beauties who want your D…Cosmos….Now, normally I’m not the type to brag or toot my own horn, but damn I’m pretty!
And this has caught the attention of a fine, fine looking lady by the name of Stacy Jones.
I knew going into this timeline (because, if I haven’t said it enough, I’m a time traveler, dammit!), there were going to be some surprises. I mean, how else can you go into the past to change the future if situations that didn’t exist in your own timeline now exist in the timeline you’re now in? But Stacy…Ms. Jones…I really didn’t see that one coming.
(…I probably didn’t see it because of this non-healing black eye. How long does a black eye take to heal anyway? I’ve never had one before. I was a model in the future and black eyes were not on my agenda.)
I’m not complaining, mind you. Why would I complain about someone almost as pretty as I am wanting to take a ride on my Fantastic Voyage? She hasn’t said it yet, but I know it’s true. She wants to make love to me. Cosmic Love.
My biggest problem is- do I want to love Ms. Jones or is my heart still in recovery from losing my beloved Melina Cruz (RIP, girlfriend)? Who am I kidding? Of course I’m going to give Stacy my anaconda; Because she got, buns, hun.
But, things are never easy for yours truly. No way. Never. Because complications love The Cosmos almost as much as The Cosmos loves Sunday walks on the beach. The new arrival of Stacy’s brother (ahem, excuse me, half-brother), Seth Archer, will only further annoy me, I’m sure.
From what I heard, Seth was in PCW before for a cup of coffee and then couldn’t hack it and got fired. Now, I don’t know the guy personally, but if he gets all in my grill, I’m going to request Murdoc add some lighter fluid and light that shit up.
…or Seth will become my bestest buddy, and totally wouldn’t mind me nailing his sister. Bros before ‘oes, yo. Bros before ‘oes.
Again though, when you’re as pretty as I am, you’re always going to have more than one lady interested in you. So besides Stacy Jones, @aura, Alexa Black, and Tyrone "Crazy Boy" Smith all wanting the Cosmic Rocket, there seems to be a new lady in cahoots with @soloman.
SOLO MAN could have filled Seth Archer’s new role as my sidekick during my quest to find the Prototype Treadmill (thought I forgot about that one, didn’t you? NOPE! That’s my go-home mission. Right now, I’m on my bumping pretties with the ladies vacation), but he and his lady friend, who cost me my chance at the Underground Kingdomship, decided to not go that route.
SOLO MAN, I expect some answers. You cannot play a player the way that you played the player. It’s not cool. Give me the answers that I want, and I’ll spare you shame and humiliation. Fail to do so, and I will be prepared to give you the same sort of thrashing that I had to deliver to Uncle Old Man Andy D. The choice is yours, Mr. SOLO MAN. Don’t disappoint me.
You wouldn’t like to see the trouble I could cause if I’m disappointed.
Speaking of disappointment, the aforementioned loss at the Underground Kingdomship kind of hurts. I knew going into the match at Trauma 163 that it was going to be tough to win. But I also knew I was way better than Cory Steel, and he was the only one I was really worried about. And now, I’m on the outside looking in for a title shot.
…but, aha! Eureka(‘s Castle was a great show that really changed the landscape of all television entertainment)! I have entered my name into the Deadly Rumble. Who needs The Underground if you can have the WORLD!
WAIT! That’s it! It makes perfect sense. Old Man Andy will win the World Title. When he does, that has to be the catalyst for his world domination. I must do everything in my power to ensure that doesn’t happen. That’s why I’m going to win the title when I eliminate all other PCW Superstars at Deadly Intentions. A win for Derek Cosmos is a win for humanity. Book it, bank it, Derek Cosmos will not tank it!
HISTORY HAS BECKONED ME TO CHANGE THE FUTURE. Can’t get change without spending a little cash. All my ramblings are belong to us. Stacy, call me?
And this has caught the attention of a fine, fine looking lady by the name of Stacy Jones.
I knew going into this timeline (because, if I haven’t said it enough, I’m a time traveler, dammit!), there were going to be some surprises. I mean, how else can you go into the past to change the future if situations that didn’t exist in your own timeline now exist in the timeline you’re now in? But Stacy…Ms. Jones…I really didn’t see that one coming.
(…I probably didn’t see it because of this non-healing black eye. How long does a black eye take to heal anyway? I’ve never had one before. I was a model in the future and black eyes were not on my agenda.)
I’m not complaining, mind you. Why would I complain about someone almost as pretty as I am wanting to take a ride on my Fantastic Voyage? She hasn’t said it yet, but I know it’s true. She wants to make love to me. Cosmic Love.
My biggest problem is- do I want to love Ms. Jones or is my heart still in recovery from losing my beloved Melina Cruz (RIP, girlfriend)? Who am I kidding? Of course I’m going to give Stacy my anaconda; Because she got, buns, hun.
But, things are never easy for yours truly. No way. Never. Because complications love The Cosmos almost as much as The Cosmos loves Sunday walks on the beach. The new arrival of Stacy’s brother (ahem, excuse me, half-brother), Seth Archer, will only further annoy me, I’m sure.
From what I heard, Seth was in PCW before for a cup of coffee and then couldn’t hack it and got fired. Now, I don’t know the guy personally, but if he gets all in my grill, I’m going to request Murdoc add some lighter fluid and light that shit up.
…or Seth will become my bestest buddy, and totally wouldn’t mind me nailing his sister. Bros before ‘oes, yo. Bros before ‘oes.
Again though, when you’re as pretty as I am, you’re always going to have more than one lady interested in you. So besides Stacy Jones, @aura, Alexa Black, and Tyrone "Crazy Boy" Smith all wanting the Cosmic Rocket, there seems to be a new lady in cahoots with @soloman.
SOLO MAN could have filled Seth Archer’s new role as my sidekick during my quest to find the Prototype Treadmill (thought I forgot about that one, didn’t you? NOPE! That’s my go-home mission. Right now, I’m on my bumping pretties with the ladies vacation), but he and his lady friend, who cost me my chance at the Underground Kingdomship, decided to not go that route.
SOLO MAN, I expect some answers. You cannot play a player the way that you played the player. It’s not cool. Give me the answers that I want, and I’ll spare you shame and humiliation. Fail to do so, and I will be prepared to give you the same sort of thrashing that I had to deliver to Uncle Old Man Andy D. The choice is yours, Mr. SOLO MAN. Don’t disappoint me.
You wouldn’t like to see the trouble I could cause if I’m disappointed.
Speaking of disappointment, the aforementioned loss at the Underground Kingdomship kind of hurts. I knew going into the match at Trauma 163 that it was going to be tough to win. But I also knew I was way better than Cory Steel, and he was the only one I was really worried about. And now, I’m on the outside looking in for a title shot.
…but, aha! Eureka(‘s Castle was a great show that really changed the landscape of all television entertainment)! I have entered my name into the Deadly Rumble. Who needs The Underground if you can have the WORLD!
WAIT! That’s it! It makes perfect sense. Old Man Andy will win the World Title. When he does, that has to be the catalyst for his world domination. I must do everything in my power to ensure that doesn’t happen. That’s why I’m going to win the title when I eliminate all other PCW Superstars at Deadly Intentions. A win for Derek Cosmos is a win for humanity. Book it, bank it, Derek Cosmos will not tank it!
HISTORY HAS BECKONED ME TO CHANGE THE FUTURE. Can’t get change without spending a little cash. All my ramblings are belong to us. Stacy, call me?