Post by Andy D on Nov 26, 2014 18:02:07 GMT -5
Life is a game. So fight for survival and see if you’re worth it. –Kitano; Battle Royale
My first clue should have been waking up on a cold concrete floor, but I wasn’t fully aware of something wrong until I started noticing a room full of other people also waking up on a cold concrete floor. Confusion was a very common feeling across the room. I tried to remember back to how I got here, pretty sure I didn’t fall asleep in this room with all these people.
I rememberd getting on a tour bus. There was some kind of free promotion on a tour of historic landmarks of Greenville, South Carolina. At the end, there was also supposed to be free beer and burgers. In hindsight, the alarm bells should really have rang at that point, but at the time free was far too good to pass up. So onto the bus I went. I don’t remember much beyond smelling a strange sent like some kind of gas was being pumped into the bus.
I had wondered why the driver was wearing a gas mask.
“Hello there.” A cheery female voice broke through the confusion state. As we all started to regain our full composure we started to look in the direction of a TV screen situated in one corner of the room. On there was some kind of bright and bubbly girl you might see on some kind of shopping channel. “Welcome participants to the 3rd annual Deadly Royale. You’re all in for the time of your lives!”
“What the fuck?” uttered someone else in the room as we all wondered the same thing.
“Today sees the start of a wonderful adventure. In a moment, our invigilator will be handing each of you a gift pack. Inside each pack is lots of useful things you’ll need to survive in this harsh environment. Things such as water, food rations and a basic map comes as standard.” Each item she said she pulled out of a green rucksack and placed it on the table she had moved behind after just a few moments into the (obviously pre-recorded) video. “But each gift pack is unique and there are a multitude of items you could find in your pack, some are really useful, some not so much.” The lady pulled out of the rucksack an axe “This one looks really lucky.”
“What… The… Fuck!” the same guy before spoke up, a lot louder than before. Suddenly the TV was turned of by this middle aged bald guy with a gruff look on his face.
“Ok, let me put this into terms you can understand” The bald guy said “You’re on an island. I’m going to give you a bag and send you out into the island. Your job is to take each other out. Last one standing wins. Got it?”
Being that nobody had yet to actually stand up from waking up on the floor, one person finally stood up and yelled across the room “You can’t do this to us. I will throw you into a god damn river for this!”
BANG!
We were all shocked to hear the gun shot and watch this outspoken guy drop to the floor. Looking back to the bald invigilator guy he was holding a pistol in his hands. “Anybody else got any other objections?” The rest of the group kept quiet and shook our heads. “Well Yippee-ki-yay.” The invigilator pointed to the “fuck” guy who had exclaimed before and said “Ok Asshole, your up first”. To which the guy responded with the same four letter swear word he had previously used twice already.
As he made his way over to the table that covered 3/4ths length of the room, which was covered in the same coloured green rucksacks which had been in featured in the introductory video. As this ‘asshole’ as the invigilator had so eloquently put it approached the table, he was handed a bag, pointed to a door to his right and told to walk out of it, which he did. I don’t remember much about what this guy looked like, but he did have a big shiny belt on him. I think there were a few people who were envious of his belt and had wanted it for themselves.
“I’m better than all of you. I’m going to win this.” The ‘asshole’ boasted as he headed out of the door. Nothing happened for a few minutes as we all nervously waited. Eventually someone else got chosen, got their bag and was sent out the door. This occurred for everybody who was in the room. By the time I grabbed my bag, there weren’t a lot of people left in the room and I headed on out of the door unsure on what I’d find.
Upon leaving the building it seemed to have been placed in the middle of a wooded area with a very clear path marked out in font. Obviously we were to carry on up this path, the walk lasting a few minutes until we came to a wide open clearing with multiple different directions you could go from there.
Of course some people didn’t make it past this clearing. There were 3 bodies lying there on the ground already.
“Well this is fun.” Said a guy as he walked out of one side of the clearing, holding a machete in one hand (which was covered in a black glove for some reason). He had sideburns that dropped down to his knees and a twisted little sadistic smile on his face. “Who’d have thought this day could become so enjoyable.”
“Let me guess, you stand around here waiting for us to come by one by one, take us out and take our rucksacks for your own use?” I asked. “Isn’t that kind of predictable and lazy?”
“Maybe” he replied “Maybe it’s smart. Maybe it’s successful. Maybe I have a different plan altogether and this is just a small part of it.”
“Maybe I can run faster than you.” I said, nodding at the blade in his hand.
“I’m willing to find out.” He said with a small hint of excitement in his voice.
I had to think fast, so I pointed behind him and said “Look, a Metallica fan doing air guitar next to a Taco Bell employee.”
The second he turned around to look I ran off in the other direction. When you’re running from a machete wielding crazy person, helps to have a head start.
I wondered around the island for a while, thankfully avoiding anybody out to actually kill me (although hearing the odd gunshot out in the distance is still unnerving. Eventually I came across a group of about 7 or 8 people standing around a beach watching one guy talk about wanting to form some kind of alliance. I guess he didn’t want to kill any potential partners and nobody else wanted a blood bath with this amount of people around. Chances would be slim of anybody walking out alive.
As I listened in to this showman’s speech on how working together would be safer, I looked around the group, spotting the ‘asshole’ standing amongst them. I noticed his weapon of choice happened to be a katana sword. Not long after my arrival another gentleman started to walk away.
“Wait, please listen to what I have to say.” The showman pleaded.
“No, I won’t join anybody.” the wandering guy replied. “I will work solo.”
“A Lone wolf cannot win.” The showman countered.
“There can be only one winner.” This lone wolf retorted. “Therefore the winner will be a lone wolf. Trust me!” and with that he wandered off.
“Don’t look at me.” The ‘asshole’ spoke up, despite nobody actually was. “I’m not taking part in any of this.” He claimed, with 2 bodies laying either side of him and blood dripping off his sword.
“Don’t you see, as a group we can be stronger, we can survive against the odds.”
“Until we’re the only ones left and you turn on the rest of us?” I spoke up from the edge of the clearing.
“That’s a really good idea.” Claimed the ‘asshole’ “I’d do that, if I was taking part of course.”
Of course it was at this point that both myself and the showman realised that we were the only other people still alive with the exception of the asshole. We hadn’t seen him kill anybody, but he was the only one here still holding a weapon. “What?” He asked as we looked at him.
“Hey look, a field marshal who’s singing your praises.” I said pointing off into the distance, and once again ran off while they were distracted. Clearly this ‘asshole’ was very dangerous.
I spent hours dodging and weaving other competitors in this deadly game of survival including, but not limited to, a cricket player wielding a cricket bat claiming that my death was necessary for the future. A girl covered in spiders who was very angry but thankfully got distracted by a bear with a meat cleaver. A brother and sister who seemed to be taking shots at each other. Somehow I manage to avoid all of them killing me (although one or two bullets came pretty damn close).
As I kept moving, trying to constantly avoid death while working out how the hell to get out of this whole thing, the cocking of a shotgun froze me in my tracks. As I turned around I saw the holder of the weapon was none other than the showman I had come across earlier. What I couldn’t help but notice was the hand he hand on the barrel of the gun was now covered in a black glove.
“Oh no.” I uttered in disappointment.
“Look who made a friend.” Said the guy with the really long sideburns as he came up and clasps a friendly (and glove covered) hand onto his new ally’s shoulder.
“Out of curiosity, is there a pool going on which one of you turns on the other first?” I asked. “Cause I’d want in on that!”
“They’re Mine!” came another voice yelling as a guy came charging in wearing a welders mask and brandishing a flamethrower. How the flamethrower fit in the rucksack in the first place I’ll never know, but I do know all three of us had to jump backwards as a burst of fire headed our way.
Of course our retreat was blocked as the spider lady and the cricket guy both seemed to close in from the direction we had been moving. In the other direction came in the bear, the hot chick who was fighting with her brother and the lone wolf. I was surrounded by a whole bunch of people who wanted to kill me (and everybody else who happened to be there) with no idea if this was all that was left or if there were other dangerous people out there that I didn’t know of.
I was trying to think fast of something to get me out of there alive, one big distraction that would give me the opportunity to get the hell out of there. But what could work? An immortal elf? A horde of homeless people? The second biggest three headed monkey I ever saw?
Before I could decide on what to use to try and get myself out of there, a katana blade dove through my chest, a voice sneering that he was truly better than me.
And of course that’s when I woke up in a cold sweat, cursing the 2Guys so called “Training Methods”. I’m probably not going to get a lot of sleep for the next few days.
My first clue should have been waking up on a cold concrete floor, but I wasn’t fully aware of something wrong until I started noticing a room full of other people also waking up on a cold concrete floor. Confusion was a very common feeling across the room. I tried to remember back to how I got here, pretty sure I didn’t fall asleep in this room with all these people.
I rememberd getting on a tour bus. There was some kind of free promotion on a tour of historic landmarks of Greenville, South Carolina. At the end, there was also supposed to be free beer and burgers. In hindsight, the alarm bells should really have rang at that point, but at the time free was far too good to pass up. So onto the bus I went. I don’t remember much beyond smelling a strange sent like some kind of gas was being pumped into the bus.
I had wondered why the driver was wearing a gas mask.
“Hello there.” A cheery female voice broke through the confusion state. As we all started to regain our full composure we started to look in the direction of a TV screen situated in one corner of the room. On there was some kind of bright and bubbly girl you might see on some kind of shopping channel. “Welcome participants to the 3rd annual Deadly Royale. You’re all in for the time of your lives!”
“What the fuck?” uttered someone else in the room as we all wondered the same thing.
“Today sees the start of a wonderful adventure. In a moment, our invigilator will be handing each of you a gift pack. Inside each pack is lots of useful things you’ll need to survive in this harsh environment. Things such as water, food rations and a basic map comes as standard.” Each item she said she pulled out of a green rucksack and placed it on the table she had moved behind after just a few moments into the (obviously pre-recorded) video. “But each gift pack is unique and there are a multitude of items you could find in your pack, some are really useful, some not so much.” The lady pulled out of the rucksack an axe “This one looks really lucky.”
“What… The… Fuck!” the same guy before spoke up, a lot louder than before. Suddenly the TV was turned of by this middle aged bald guy with a gruff look on his face.
“Ok, let me put this into terms you can understand” The bald guy said “You’re on an island. I’m going to give you a bag and send you out into the island. Your job is to take each other out. Last one standing wins. Got it?”
Being that nobody had yet to actually stand up from waking up on the floor, one person finally stood up and yelled across the room “You can’t do this to us. I will throw you into a god damn river for this!”
BANG!
We were all shocked to hear the gun shot and watch this outspoken guy drop to the floor. Looking back to the bald invigilator guy he was holding a pistol in his hands. “Anybody else got any other objections?” The rest of the group kept quiet and shook our heads. “Well Yippee-ki-yay.” The invigilator pointed to the “fuck” guy who had exclaimed before and said “Ok Asshole, your up first”. To which the guy responded with the same four letter swear word he had previously used twice already.
As he made his way over to the table that covered 3/4ths length of the room, which was covered in the same coloured green rucksacks which had been in featured in the introductory video. As this ‘asshole’ as the invigilator had so eloquently put it approached the table, he was handed a bag, pointed to a door to his right and told to walk out of it, which he did. I don’t remember much about what this guy looked like, but he did have a big shiny belt on him. I think there were a few people who were envious of his belt and had wanted it for themselves.
“I’m better than all of you. I’m going to win this.” The ‘asshole’ boasted as he headed out of the door. Nothing happened for a few minutes as we all nervously waited. Eventually someone else got chosen, got their bag and was sent out the door. This occurred for everybody who was in the room. By the time I grabbed my bag, there weren’t a lot of people left in the room and I headed on out of the door unsure on what I’d find.
Upon leaving the building it seemed to have been placed in the middle of a wooded area with a very clear path marked out in font. Obviously we were to carry on up this path, the walk lasting a few minutes until we came to a wide open clearing with multiple different directions you could go from there.
Of course some people didn’t make it past this clearing. There were 3 bodies lying there on the ground already.
“Well this is fun.” Said a guy as he walked out of one side of the clearing, holding a machete in one hand (which was covered in a black glove for some reason). He had sideburns that dropped down to his knees and a twisted little sadistic smile on his face. “Who’d have thought this day could become so enjoyable.”
“Let me guess, you stand around here waiting for us to come by one by one, take us out and take our rucksacks for your own use?” I asked. “Isn’t that kind of predictable and lazy?”
“Maybe” he replied “Maybe it’s smart. Maybe it’s successful. Maybe I have a different plan altogether and this is just a small part of it.”
“Maybe I can run faster than you.” I said, nodding at the blade in his hand.
“I’m willing to find out.” He said with a small hint of excitement in his voice.
I had to think fast, so I pointed behind him and said “Look, a Metallica fan doing air guitar next to a Taco Bell employee.”
The second he turned around to look I ran off in the other direction. When you’re running from a machete wielding crazy person, helps to have a head start.
I wondered around the island for a while, thankfully avoiding anybody out to actually kill me (although hearing the odd gunshot out in the distance is still unnerving. Eventually I came across a group of about 7 or 8 people standing around a beach watching one guy talk about wanting to form some kind of alliance. I guess he didn’t want to kill any potential partners and nobody else wanted a blood bath with this amount of people around. Chances would be slim of anybody walking out alive.
As I listened in to this showman’s speech on how working together would be safer, I looked around the group, spotting the ‘asshole’ standing amongst them. I noticed his weapon of choice happened to be a katana sword. Not long after my arrival another gentleman started to walk away.
“Wait, please listen to what I have to say.” The showman pleaded.
“No, I won’t join anybody.” the wandering guy replied. “I will work solo.”
“A Lone wolf cannot win.” The showman countered.
“There can be only one winner.” This lone wolf retorted. “Therefore the winner will be a lone wolf. Trust me!” and with that he wandered off.
“Don’t look at me.” The ‘asshole’ spoke up, despite nobody actually was. “I’m not taking part in any of this.” He claimed, with 2 bodies laying either side of him and blood dripping off his sword.
“Don’t you see, as a group we can be stronger, we can survive against the odds.”
“Until we’re the only ones left and you turn on the rest of us?” I spoke up from the edge of the clearing.
“That’s a really good idea.” Claimed the ‘asshole’ “I’d do that, if I was taking part of course.”
Of course it was at this point that both myself and the showman realised that we were the only other people still alive with the exception of the asshole. We hadn’t seen him kill anybody, but he was the only one here still holding a weapon. “What?” He asked as we looked at him.
“Hey look, a field marshal who’s singing your praises.” I said pointing off into the distance, and once again ran off while they were distracted. Clearly this ‘asshole’ was very dangerous.
I spent hours dodging and weaving other competitors in this deadly game of survival including, but not limited to, a cricket player wielding a cricket bat claiming that my death was necessary for the future. A girl covered in spiders who was very angry but thankfully got distracted by a bear with a meat cleaver. A brother and sister who seemed to be taking shots at each other. Somehow I manage to avoid all of them killing me (although one or two bullets came pretty damn close).
As I kept moving, trying to constantly avoid death while working out how the hell to get out of this whole thing, the cocking of a shotgun froze me in my tracks. As I turned around I saw the holder of the weapon was none other than the showman I had come across earlier. What I couldn’t help but notice was the hand he hand on the barrel of the gun was now covered in a black glove.
“Oh no.” I uttered in disappointment.
“Look who made a friend.” Said the guy with the really long sideburns as he came up and clasps a friendly (and glove covered) hand onto his new ally’s shoulder.
“Out of curiosity, is there a pool going on which one of you turns on the other first?” I asked. “Cause I’d want in on that!”
“They’re Mine!” came another voice yelling as a guy came charging in wearing a welders mask and brandishing a flamethrower. How the flamethrower fit in the rucksack in the first place I’ll never know, but I do know all three of us had to jump backwards as a burst of fire headed our way.
Of course our retreat was blocked as the spider lady and the cricket guy both seemed to close in from the direction we had been moving. In the other direction came in the bear, the hot chick who was fighting with her brother and the lone wolf. I was surrounded by a whole bunch of people who wanted to kill me (and everybody else who happened to be there) with no idea if this was all that was left or if there were other dangerous people out there that I didn’t know of.
I was trying to think fast of something to get me out of there alive, one big distraction that would give me the opportunity to get the hell out of there. But what could work? An immortal elf? A horde of homeless people? The second biggest three headed monkey I ever saw?
Before I could decide on what to use to try and get myself out of there, a katana blade dove through my chest, a voice sneering that he was truly better than me.
And of course that’s when I woke up in a cold sweat, cursing the 2Guys so called “Training Methods”. I’m probably not going to get a lot of sleep for the next few days.
