Post by Lunatic on Jun 30, 2015 19:43:18 GMT -5
The man known to fans of the TWF as "Wild Thing", and more intimately to his friends as Stuart Michael Sampson, rested his face in his hand in embarrassment as he watched his friend known as "The Lunatic" Marc McGwire go through the door of the training simulator door and acclimate himself to his virtual surroundings. The programmers had perfectly simulated the environment of a genuine, yet powered-down version of a wrestling federation event known as Tuesday Night Trauma, number 174 to be precise.
In fact, the IT team at A.R.R.E.S.T. had done such a convincing job, that even Stuart marveled at the details when he was training himself. Lunatic however, was gloriously unencumbered by the need to soak in the scenery or even play by the rules, a fact that Wild Thing knew, yet ignored in the hopes that Marc would conform at least enough to his surroundings to impress Grontor.
Grontor was a brutish-looking golem of a man who had mutated into a hulk-like mass of diamond with enough strength to juggle heavy machinery and make it look effortless. His intellect matched his physical prowess to boot. He was also the head of A.R.R.E.S.T., and remained completely unconvinced of just why they needed to bring such a loose cannon into the fold.
"What in the blue hell is he doing?" queried a crystalline baritone voice behind Stuart, giving him a bit of a start.
Stuart sighed deeply, surveying the scene in front of him. "It appears that he's popping popcorn." As he and the bejeweled man watched, Lunatic had planted a chair next to the wrestling ring, producing a bag of microwave popcorn, and using his electrical powers to cook the treat to perfection. Within seconds, Marc began devouring the bag's contents, watching the match he was supposed to be in like a spectator, spilling the confection and cheering as the team he was supposed to be a part of got in their licks.
Only minutes later, the match came to its logical conclusion, sans any kind of help from Marc whatsoever. The pirate-looking hologram known as High Tide, polished of the one known as Frank Merritt for the three count. After the victors departed, Lunatic slid into the ring, using his hands like defibrillator on his fallen teammate, even going so far as yelling, "CLEAR!!!" with each jolt.
It should be noted that pre-programmed emotions were also built into this particular simulation. They came into very painful play after the team Lunatic was paired with leveled him with their finisher, leaving him prone in the middle of the ring. Slowly, a jeweled hand pressed the "abort" button on the console. As a downside to his mutation, Grontor had lost his ability to turn various shades to enhance his emotions, especially anger. The cut of his sculpted face however, still managed to get the point across loud and clear to a slightly discouraged Wild Thing.
"Get. Him. To. My. Office," growled the living diamond.
"Yes sir," offered Stuart.
"NOW!"
*******
Lunatic couldn't contain his laughter, holding his head as he was greeted at the entrance of the hologram chamber. Stuart shook his head somberly, but even he couldn't stay too mad at his pal. "You DO realize you were supposed to actually wrestle, right?"
Lunatic's giggling halted as he tilted his head like the RCA dog at Wild Thing. "You mean it wasn't an interactive movie?"
The question stumped him. Stuart simply wasn't sure just how to answer that. "It was," he finally rattled off, "but you were supposed to interact with it, not just watch it." Stuart clapped Marc on the back hard enough to jolt him forward. "Come on. You get to be debriefed by the boss himself."
"You guys sure have a fetish about taking my pants off. You know, curiosity killed the..."
Marc trailed off as a rather nimble-looking woman wearing an open lab coat over a black patent leather full body outfit slinked down the hallway. She peered up from the clipboard she had been concentrating on to see the owners of the voices she had heard. Her fiery red hair had been parted at both sides by a set of pointed, furry feline ears. Her piercing green eyes lit up as she set them on Stuart.
"...Cat," finished Marc as he watched her approach.
"Minx," she purred. As she drew near, Lunatic believed for a brief second that her outstretched arms were meant for him. His disappointment was almost palpable as she slinked past his, draping herself on Stuart, planting a long, passionate kiss on his lips.
Looney waited awkwardly as the pair orally consummated their meeting. Finally breaking his tongue free, Stuart introduced his company to each other. "Marc, this is my wife Minx. Minx, Marc. You can call him Lunatic."
"I'd prefer she'd call me one of her sisters, especially if that tonsil hockey is genetic." He suddenly felt five pinpricks surround his genitals. Looking down, he saw that a rather menacing looking set of claws had threatened to introduce themselves to his meat and potatoes. "Or, I could remain single and healthy."
Minx withdrew her hand slowly. No trace of irritation or offence showed on her face from Marc's flagrant remarks. "That would be the best idea."
Stuart cleared his throat, bringing both sets of eye back to him. "She's also the head scientist in our research and development department."
Minx extended a clawless hand, which Marc shook after brief scrutiny. "Nice to meet you." She returned her gaze to her husband. "Where are you heading?"
"I have to take this yahoo to meet Grontor."
"He's your husband?" Marc asked. She nodded in agreement. Marc leaned in as if telling her a secret. "Did you know he keeps trying to... debrief me?" He straightened out, placing an elbow on her shoulder. "Now, I'm not one to start trouble in your marital bliss," he jerked a thumb at Wild Thing, "but I think someone's closet is a bit too big, if you know what I mean."
She rolled her eyes in frustration, but couldn't hold back the chuckle escaping her throat. "It means he wants to tell you why you're here." She watched as the gears turned in Marc's head until it finally clicked.
"I see what's going on here. This is one of those freaky swinger's club things." Stuart and Minx alike palmed their faces in unison.
She politely pecked her betrothed on the cheek, using the moment to make her escape. "Okay. You have fun, but stay off the swing in the closet." She smiled slyly as she sauntered away. "That's for later."
Even after five years of marriage, Minx still managed to leave Wild Thing speechless if the mood struck her. He could only wiggle his fingers as she strode down the hall. He ogled his wife mercilessly, mesmerized by her sinewy figure.
Marc put an arm over his friend's shoulder, joining in the ogling with a sly smile. "You know, there are things about you I don't get. Wanting to take my briefs off? I don't get. But THAT..." He jerked a thumb at his friend's spouse. "That, I get. By the way, what's a Grontor?"
The last statement seemed to snap Stuart out of his lust-coma with a vengeance. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed. "Grontor is..."
"Ooh! I know what he is! He's that T-Rex thingy off of that Pixar cartoon"
"No, but he will rip us both to shreds if we don't get to his office right now." Stuart once again led his friend in the direction of certain diamond-clad doom. He pulled out a notebook and opened up the itinerary dossier. A three dimensional hologram of a rather ordinary looking man in his early twenties sprang to life, rotating in place as it went through motions of its pre-programmed moves. "Incidentally, we've schedeuled your next training session; a four way match with you going against a young kid Named Barry Kemp..."
"Nobody has ever been afraid of a guy named Barry. I SQUISH HIM LIKE GRAPE!" Lunatic paused for a second, "Well, okay, a berry."
Wild Thing rolled his eyes at the bad joke. "Hardy har har. Just for that," he pulled up another picture of one of the IT department's newest creations; a rather robust Japanese man dressed in a Sumo outfit. "I'll toss in this big guy, Hiroshi Yukio. He's a new part, but he outweighs you by 305 pounds."
"Does he like puppies?"
"If I tell you no, will you fight him?"
"He's a puppy hater?" Absolute rage overtook Marc's face. "I'll murder the bum! How can you not like puppies?"
Stuart decided to have a little fun with his friend. "He also like to punch kittens." Lunatic became even more enraged. He watched as his friend began pounding a defenseless tin trash can, molding it from a droid-esque shape to one more resembling a craggy spire from a nightmare. Wild Thing went for the coup de grace. "He also prays every day that Spongebob Squarepants dies in a fire."
The craggy spire quickly became a semi-flattened disc of crumpled metal and rubbish as Lunatic poured all of his emotions into obliterating the object. Curious heads poked out of hallway doors as Stuart guffawed with joy. Just to drive his point home to the unruly dust bin, Marc screamed, throwing his hand in front of him. As he did, electricity jolted out from his fingertips. The bolts licked at the former container for a few seconds before physics took over and sent the thing flying down the corridor, burying itself in the wall over 50 feet away, causing a few of the onlookers to clamor for cover.
Marc heaved and panted as his fury subsided. He took one final deep breath and was immediately back to his happy little self. "So who's the third guy?"
"Well, since you didn't fight him last time, we've decided to throw Judge back into the mix."
Lunatic's eyes grew wide with excitement. He clasped his hands to the side of his head in mock joy. "My friend is gonna be there too?"
"You know he isn't your friend, right?" Stuart raised an eyebrow at his seemingly confused buddy.
"Don't worry, sweet cheeks," Marc pinched Wild Thing's cheeks for emphasis. "I've still got plenty of room in my circle for you. Now, let's go. I wanna see what a Grontor is."
Stuart walked down the path as his unhinged pal skipped at his side, yapping like a chihuahua about anything and everything that crossed his mind.
In fact, the IT team at A.R.R.E.S.T. had done such a convincing job, that even Stuart marveled at the details when he was training himself. Lunatic however, was gloriously unencumbered by the need to soak in the scenery or even play by the rules, a fact that Wild Thing knew, yet ignored in the hopes that Marc would conform at least enough to his surroundings to impress Grontor.
Grontor was a brutish-looking golem of a man who had mutated into a hulk-like mass of diamond with enough strength to juggle heavy machinery and make it look effortless. His intellect matched his physical prowess to boot. He was also the head of A.R.R.E.S.T., and remained completely unconvinced of just why they needed to bring such a loose cannon into the fold.
"What in the blue hell is he doing?" queried a crystalline baritone voice behind Stuart, giving him a bit of a start.
Stuart sighed deeply, surveying the scene in front of him. "It appears that he's popping popcorn." As he and the bejeweled man watched, Lunatic had planted a chair next to the wrestling ring, producing a bag of microwave popcorn, and using his electrical powers to cook the treat to perfection. Within seconds, Marc began devouring the bag's contents, watching the match he was supposed to be in like a spectator, spilling the confection and cheering as the team he was supposed to be a part of got in their licks.
Only minutes later, the match came to its logical conclusion, sans any kind of help from Marc whatsoever. The pirate-looking hologram known as High Tide, polished of the one known as Frank Merritt for the three count. After the victors departed, Lunatic slid into the ring, using his hands like defibrillator on his fallen teammate, even going so far as yelling, "CLEAR!!!" with each jolt.
It should be noted that pre-programmed emotions were also built into this particular simulation. They came into very painful play after the team Lunatic was paired with leveled him with their finisher, leaving him prone in the middle of the ring. Slowly, a jeweled hand pressed the "abort" button on the console. As a downside to his mutation, Grontor had lost his ability to turn various shades to enhance his emotions, especially anger. The cut of his sculpted face however, still managed to get the point across loud and clear to a slightly discouraged Wild Thing.
"Get. Him. To. My. Office," growled the living diamond.
"Yes sir," offered Stuart.
"NOW!"
*******
Lunatic couldn't contain his laughter, holding his head as he was greeted at the entrance of the hologram chamber. Stuart shook his head somberly, but even he couldn't stay too mad at his pal. "You DO realize you were supposed to actually wrestle, right?"
Lunatic's giggling halted as he tilted his head like the RCA dog at Wild Thing. "You mean it wasn't an interactive movie?"
The question stumped him. Stuart simply wasn't sure just how to answer that. "It was," he finally rattled off, "but you were supposed to interact with it, not just watch it." Stuart clapped Marc on the back hard enough to jolt him forward. "Come on. You get to be debriefed by the boss himself."
"You guys sure have a fetish about taking my pants off. You know, curiosity killed the..."
Marc trailed off as a rather nimble-looking woman wearing an open lab coat over a black patent leather full body outfit slinked down the hallway. She peered up from the clipboard she had been concentrating on to see the owners of the voices she had heard. Her fiery red hair had been parted at both sides by a set of pointed, furry feline ears. Her piercing green eyes lit up as she set them on Stuart.
"...Cat," finished Marc as he watched her approach.
"Minx," she purred. As she drew near, Lunatic believed for a brief second that her outstretched arms were meant for him. His disappointment was almost palpable as she slinked past his, draping herself on Stuart, planting a long, passionate kiss on his lips.
Looney waited awkwardly as the pair orally consummated their meeting. Finally breaking his tongue free, Stuart introduced his company to each other. "Marc, this is my wife Minx. Minx, Marc. You can call him Lunatic."
"I'd prefer she'd call me one of her sisters, especially if that tonsil hockey is genetic." He suddenly felt five pinpricks surround his genitals. Looking down, he saw that a rather menacing looking set of claws had threatened to introduce themselves to his meat and potatoes. "Or, I could remain single and healthy."
Minx withdrew her hand slowly. No trace of irritation or offence showed on her face from Marc's flagrant remarks. "That would be the best idea."
Stuart cleared his throat, bringing both sets of eye back to him. "She's also the head scientist in our research and development department."
Minx extended a clawless hand, which Marc shook after brief scrutiny. "Nice to meet you." She returned her gaze to her husband. "Where are you heading?"
"I have to take this yahoo to meet Grontor."
"He's your husband?" Marc asked. She nodded in agreement. Marc leaned in as if telling her a secret. "Did you know he keeps trying to... debrief me?" He straightened out, placing an elbow on her shoulder. "Now, I'm not one to start trouble in your marital bliss," he jerked a thumb at Wild Thing, "but I think someone's closet is a bit too big, if you know what I mean."
She rolled her eyes in frustration, but couldn't hold back the chuckle escaping her throat. "It means he wants to tell you why you're here." She watched as the gears turned in Marc's head until it finally clicked.
"I see what's going on here. This is one of those freaky swinger's club things." Stuart and Minx alike palmed their faces in unison.
She politely pecked her betrothed on the cheek, using the moment to make her escape. "Okay. You have fun, but stay off the swing in the closet." She smiled slyly as she sauntered away. "That's for later."
Even after five years of marriage, Minx still managed to leave Wild Thing speechless if the mood struck her. He could only wiggle his fingers as she strode down the hall. He ogled his wife mercilessly, mesmerized by her sinewy figure.
Marc put an arm over his friend's shoulder, joining in the ogling with a sly smile. "You know, there are things about you I don't get. Wanting to take my briefs off? I don't get. But THAT..." He jerked a thumb at his friend's spouse. "That, I get. By the way, what's a Grontor?"
The last statement seemed to snap Stuart out of his lust-coma with a vengeance. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed. "Grontor is..."
"Ooh! I know what he is! He's that T-Rex thingy off of that Pixar cartoon"
"No, but he will rip us both to shreds if we don't get to his office right now." Stuart once again led his friend in the direction of certain diamond-clad doom. He pulled out a notebook and opened up the itinerary dossier. A three dimensional hologram of a rather ordinary looking man in his early twenties sprang to life, rotating in place as it went through motions of its pre-programmed moves. "Incidentally, we've schedeuled your next training session; a four way match with you going against a young kid Named Barry Kemp..."
"Nobody has ever been afraid of a guy named Barry. I SQUISH HIM LIKE GRAPE!" Lunatic paused for a second, "Well, okay, a berry."
Wild Thing rolled his eyes at the bad joke. "Hardy har har. Just for that," he pulled up another picture of one of the IT department's newest creations; a rather robust Japanese man dressed in a Sumo outfit. "I'll toss in this big guy, Hiroshi Yukio. He's a new part, but he outweighs you by 305 pounds."
"Does he like puppies?"
"If I tell you no, will you fight him?"
"He's a puppy hater?" Absolute rage overtook Marc's face. "I'll murder the bum! How can you not like puppies?"
Stuart decided to have a little fun with his friend. "He also like to punch kittens." Lunatic became even more enraged. He watched as his friend began pounding a defenseless tin trash can, molding it from a droid-esque shape to one more resembling a craggy spire from a nightmare. Wild Thing went for the coup de grace. "He also prays every day that Spongebob Squarepants dies in a fire."
The craggy spire quickly became a semi-flattened disc of crumpled metal and rubbish as Lunatic poured all of his emotions into obliterating the object. Curious heads poked out of hallway doors as Stuart guffawed with joy. Just to drive his point home to the unruly dust bin, Marc screamed, throwing his hand in front of him. As he did, electricity jolted out from his fingertips. The bolts licked at the former container for a few seconds before physics took over and sent the thing flying down the corridor, burying itself in the wall over 50 feet away, causing a few of the onlookers to clamor for cover.
Marc heaved and panted as his fury subsided. He took one final deep breath and was immediately back to his happy little self. "So who's the third guy?"
"Well, since you didn't fight him last time, we've decided to throw Judge back into the mix."
Lunatic's eyes grew wide with excitement. He clasped his hands to the side of his head in mock joy. "My friend is gonna be there too?"
"You know he isn't your friend, right?" Stuart raised an eyebrow at his seemingly confused buddy.
"Don't worry, sweet cheeks," Marc pinched Wild Thing's cheeks for emphasis. "I've still got plenty of room in my circle for you. Now, let's go. I wanna see what a Grontor is."
Stuart walked down the path as his unhinged pal skipped at his side, yapping like a chihuahua about anything and everything that crossed his mind.
