Post by The Anarchist on Jul 10, 2015 21:41:19 GMT -5
If the tag team landscape were to be played out like a game of Chess…
The Nobodies, Alexa Black and “Crazy Boy” are four pawns.
Loco and Myself are two Kings.
In the actual game, there are two Knights. The only direction the pieces can move is an equated space count in the shape of an L.
In order for Tha UnHoly Alliance to reclaim what we never lost either time, three teams need to be dealt an L.
Checkmate, folks. We are going to hand out those losses and in the process, become three-time PCW Tag Team Champions.
Any questions?
I didn’t think so.
Allow me to, if I may, introduce and re-introduce myself. My name is Jason Willard. Some know me as The Anarchist. My daughters know me as dad. My wife knows me as God. But how PCW should know me, is legend. For three years I have been out of the game. Gone. Resting and relaxing back home in Anaheim with my family. I had been wrestling for thirteen years up to the point of what was my final match. My body was hurting. My mind was in chaos. I had nothing left to prove; not that I ever had to from the start. The fans paid their money to boo and curse my ass out of every arena I ever walked into. It was my job to get them so riled up that they would make my death a national holiday.
HAPPY ANARCHIST DEATH DAY
I can picture the Hallmark cards now. Gifts would be passed around like it was Christmas. Only better. I was THAT hated. At one time, it made my heart smile like a fangirl attending a Twilight premiere. Time heals everything apparently. What it certainly showed me is that if I were ever to return, I had to change my ways. I no longer could be a “bad guy” for the cameras, and then go home and be my regular self. Sure, my two oldest would understand. But my twin six-year olds may wonder why daddy was being so mean.
Which brings me to the present. Why after being gone so long, at thirty-seven years old (shut up), would I want to get back into the ring? The answer is quite easy; Anaheim was starving for a championship again. That’s right. The Ducks and Angels have failed to capture a second championship, whereas I was a multi-time champion. You’re welcome Orange County.
Kidding aside it’s because Loco and I had unfinished business. We got our only one-on-one out of the way, but as tag champions, we never got the chance to properly defend. Here we were, the GREATEST tag team in the history of PCW, and twice we were denied the chance to welcome challengers. That didn’t set well with us. However, there was something else that didn’t set well with me…
THIS CONCLUDES THE BROADCAST FOR THE EVENING. WE SAY GOODNIGHT, AND GOD BLESS.
BEEEEP.
"What the...?"
3:00 AM
I somehow managed to fall asleep on my couch. Strange thing is I don't even remember dosing off. Or why Destiny didn't wake me. I might not have woken back up for a few more hours had it not been for the conclusion of the local network signing off. Wait. That still happens? With my eyes adjusting to the multi-color test pattern on the television screen, one thought precluded in my mind.
"I wonder if my hand was over my heart while I slept through that?"
The thing in question was our national anthem. It didn't matter, as I really didn't care. It was just something amusing conjured by my subconscious. After a long yawn and noticing the time, it occurred to me I only had a matter of a few hours left to actually sleep. The kids would be up, saying hello to mister sun, and also to good old’ dad. That also meant Destiny would be as well, to help the little ones get ready for school.
"Woe unto them if they decide to wake me up..." I said with a slight laugh.
Figuring it was best to just remain where I was, rather than stir my wife; I fumbled for the remote to turn off the last source of light left on. With one simple click, darkness became my solitude. Shutting my eyes and stretching out my legs, it didn't take long to return to what was once a peaceful slumber. Or so it felt. Perhaps I should have told myself I'd sleep when I was dead, because a sudden thought crossed my mind.
"Wait a second. They are out of school for the summer!"
Goodbye sleep. I hardly knew thee.
5:45 AM
My mind had become a maelstrom of rapid thoughts. This in turn raised my energy levels to the point that sleep was more of a luxury, instead of a necessity. I had this overwhelming desire to do something productive, only there wasn’t an audience present at this hour. To try and distract my un-medicated mind, I thought of various songs that could meet my increased positivity. One song immediately came to mind…one that like love, had to be shared with my family.
So I got up and exited the living room, feeling oh-so-happy and tip toed my way down like the Grinch to the twin’s bedroom. Slowly I opened the door, a smile beginning to creep on my face. Luckily for me there wasn’t any toys on the floor to trip me up like the burglars in Home Alone. No. My path to the little angels was easy. Again, I tip toed and first leaned over Nancy. She was out cold, hugging her stuffed bunny (Aww). Gently I kissed her head, ignoring the fact that light was starting to show into the room.
”Father wears his Sunday best!”
Quickly I made my way to Madeleine. Like her sister, she was snoozing away.
”Mother’s tired she needs a rest!
Disappointingly, neither child woke to join me for A.M. karaoke. Instead they remained in a peaceful slumber. Giving her a kiss on the head as well, I stood back up and started to head for the door. But not without trying my luck one more time.
”The kids are playing up downstairs!”
I couldn’t help but to laugh inside. I was down, but not out in my manic fun time. Closing their door, I headed not even three steps down before I was at Autumn’s room. My ten year old was an avid book reader and a fact-spewing machine. Stepping inside of her room, stuffed animals of various size and color adorned her shelves and greeted me with stitched smiles. She had a very, tidy room. Like before, I quietly walked over and gave her a kiss on the head. Then I stood back up and sighed with content.
”Sister’s sighing in her sleep!”
How apt. Before I could continue, Autumn did stir. Then proceeded to pull the blankets up over her face.
”Dad…” she said sleepily. “This isn’t…1…9…8…2…”
THAT stopped me dead silent. I don’t recall ever playing her what I was annoyingly singing. I mean it’s possible. But still. “How does she know when it came out?” I asked myself while exiting her room. No time to ponder that now. I had to keep on with my energetic mission. My oldest daughter Kristen was next. Hard to believe my little girl was now a teenager. So I HAD to make this even more special. Slowly I made my way inside of her room, barely paying any mind to the posters that were pinned on the walls. Such a glance would have my stomach turn and the mission failed. No. I must be stoic and return the favor of times past that my offspring woke me with cries for Dad to wake up.
”Brother’s got a date to keep!” I belted with pride. Kristen stirred at the sound of my voice. However it wasn’t enough to get her attention. So I inched closer to her, trying hard to settle any thoughts of laughter. “He CAN’T hang around!” I put extra emphasis on that word. Being that she was growing up, I could expect to hear of crushes. That was an issue for another time. The second attempt was enough to arouse her shortly. The look on her face as she understandably was startled, wasn’t lost on me.
”DAD!! I’m sleeping!” Kristen said with a heavy tone of annoyance. I quickly gave her a kiss on the head. “But I love you. Looove you!!” Kristen sighed and gave me the cold shoulder, turning away from me as she attempted to go back to sleep. Teens. So with my girls down, that only left one other member.
Destiny.
For fifteen years we have been married. Truth be told, she is my emotional balance and someone I could not imagine life without. She, more than anyone, knew and understood my mental illness. The medication did in fact help, but wasn’t always reliable. Really, I hated the stuff. But it comes with the territory. So finally I was able to reach my bed, seeing that my wife naturally was taking up everything.
”This will be tricky…” I told myself. I saved the best for last with my randomness. Destiny would be treated to the chorus of the song. So I had to make this a good one, because I wouldn’t have much time to make a run for it after she wakes. I gently pulled her up from my right, slowly getting onto MY side of our bed. Once that was done, she turned facing me with an arm going across my stomach. Yeah. I better make this count. As I had with the others, I gave her a kiss on the head, cleared my throat and yelled:
”OUR house! In the middle of our street! OUR house, in the middle of…” And that was the loudest I had sung. Obviously it woke Destiny up, because she jumped clear out of her skin like she had heard gunfire. I couldn’t help but laugh. She looked at me with fire in her eyes.
”Oh…GOD. Jason, REALLY?! You fucking decide to sing at THIS time of morning?” she said angrily. “Our house it has a crowd, there’s always something happening and it’s usually quite loud!” Before I could continue singing the hit song from Madness, Destiny muzzled my mouth shut with her hand, continuing to shoot me a stare for good measure.
”The only thing usually quite loud at the moment is YOU!”
”But I love you!” This was muffled. “I looove you, darling!”
Score one for The Anarchist’s charm. It worked well enough to make her pull her hand away. “I love you too, babe” she replied “But it’s far too early for this bullshit, and you’ll wake up the kids.” If only she knew. Maybe next time, don’t leave me alone on the couch.
”I also love our house…” I continued. Destiny sighed, while I had a grin on my face. Mission accomplished. She sensed that this could keep going on, due large in part to my state of mind. “Jason. I’m only going to tell you this one time. Stop with the madness, before I throw your ass out into the middle of OUR street. Please, go to sleep.”
She said those words with a firm tone. Loving. But firm. She was dead serious. Destiny when tired could be quite a cranky woman. I was ready to oblige her request. Putting my right arm over her as she laid her head on my chest, Destiny held me not only tight, but also close. Like I said, she was my better half. We had just about fallen asleep together as the sun was starting to shine through, when another song came into my head.
”Oh I! I just died in your arms, tonight! It must have been something you said!”
It was Cutting Crew time. It was also time for her to reach under the sheets and squeeze the baby-maker as hard as she could. I had no desire to continue through the pain. She had won the right to finally shut me up.