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Post by Eira on May 3, 2015 17:53:16 GMT -5
LokiReturn RPThe "here and there" mode of the beginning struck me as what you see in horror movies or survival horror video games. Y ou know, where you see the scene of happy normalcy then you get slapped around with gritty, flayed-spirit reality. The... honestly? The dialogue and even the RP itself seemed kind of cliché and predictable. It was really clear where it was going, the conversation seemed pretty banal as far as the theme goes. However, it WAS very well written, and engaging despite this, so please don't take that as "lol how u even win wtf brah". You must have done something very right to get the top score in the fed this go round, so really, my feedback is only one person's opinion. You did a great job setting the stage and really putting the reader in the environment without breaking into Stephanie Meyer descriptive prose. Or worse yet, E.L. James. I'm REALLY curious about the ending, though... and if I hadn't already read the results, I'd be wondering if Loki was going to return with a Joker style smile and a new tag line of "Do you want to know how I got these scars?"
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